a fren asked me what i wanted most for the new year this is what i said in reply:
for everyone to know God and follow God, to be touched by God, to experience His love and goodness wisdom to hear God clearly, and strength and obedience in doing His will for Him to abide in me and me in Him every moment of my life
Thanks to God for an amazing 2007 filled with love, joy, faith, peace, hope and more joy..
2007 has been a really amazing year for me. it started tumultously with my life gone topsy turvy and finished with such joyous splendour!
jan 2007 saw the end of a 16 year relationship with the love of my life i had a really difficult time adjusting when God made me surrender my first love by unveiling my eyes to lies and deceit, and drew me closer to Him, i survived the ordeal without emotional scratches only because He took away my despair, sorrow, depression and in place filled me up with such amazing peace & joy! helping me to see things through His word and helping me learn to follow His will
He has seen to having my broken relationships reconciled, wrongs forgiven, prayers answered personal experiences of God's amazing love have left me humbly awed
pastor gilbert asked in church today: have you ever been so deeply touched by God that you can only weep? have you ever been so deeply touched by God that you have thought about giving all that you have to the ministry? have you ever been so deeply touched by God that you want to share it with everybody you know one to one?
and my answer to that is Yes, Yes & Yes!
as i count my blessings in dec 2007, i know i have all i need in God
God's love is sooooo good.. i pray for everyone to be deeply touched by God's love and so abundantly filled with God's love that it overflows to people around them
i'm thankful to God for creating the opportunities to share His love and goodness with friends, family and even strangers whom i meet on the street
i'm thankful to God for sending His body (church, brothers and sisters) and little angels (God's precious children) to teach me, encourage me, strengthen me and affirm His love for me
i'm especially thankful to God for bringing my father, auntie and cousin to church on christmas day, touching my father and bringing him to church service on weekends following that first christmas day visit.. hallelujah!
i'm so thankful to God for bringing me to church early this year, filling me so fully, ever since, with His wonderful love again and again even though each time i had felt so undeserving due to guilt, shame, remorse or other reasons
i know i'm in the best Potter's hands and have no other wants
this question was popped alot this christmas time, as much time was spent catching up with frens..
time flies and it took me a while to recall what i've been up to..
and here's some of the things i've done lately..
music classes - vocal, keyboard christmas dance performance for kids by kids - choreography, music mixing, rehearsals acting - cameo (nurse) in chinese drama, singing tree in musical at asian children's performance, sporty titan in corporate skit baking course - brownie cheesecake, puff pastry with fruits jewellery making course - art clay silver ring, beaded necklace and earrings urbankids - sunday school church - celebrated christmas with my father, cousin & auntie at church!! friends - chilled out with frens at home / bbq parties with too much good food.. at pei's, sara's, eng's and warren facebook - got on to facebook, met lots of old and new frens nieces and nephews - spent much time this holidays going to sentosa, swimming, playing games and such perfomances - watched legends singing competition, crazy christmas musical by wild rice, the beginning of mad forest by young and wild, a christmas tale by church of our saviour, christmas play and caroling by light tower cell group, christmas celebration service in chinese by church of our saviour movies - had nightmares after catching lust, caution, even more disturbed after watching the golden compass, the national treasure was relatively more enjoyable..
today's the day of the much anticipated dance performance that the children have been working towards.. i know God will take care of everything and be with the children, but wished i could have stayed to catch them in action. am sure it'd be magical to watch. sigh
hope there'll be videos or photos..
if you are reading this now, these blessings are for you :)
what a blooper.. i won't be able to lead worship for sunday school coz it's supposed to be on 25th, not 24th nov, and i have acf performance on 25th.. double checked with anne last week and she's confirmed that it'd be on 25th, not 24th.. * * * * * and this is what i'd be wearing for the acf show.. as a singing, talking tree was tasked to find a dress at short notice and managed to find this lovely dress just last wednesday quite close to weiyan's designs eh? what i like about it..
it's simple, not too loud it has a tassled hem.. it sparkles! even on the straps.. and i'm to wear this flowery headdress, custom made by a fellow "tree" who kindly made it extra large coz she thought i wanted mine extra huge.. lol it's lovely and am really appreciative of her efforts oh look, i've gotten green shoes to match the outfit as well..
you are holy (prince of peace) introduced to me by jiayen :) - thanks! (note: it should have been jiayan) found this on youtube (performed by michael smith)
matt redman's heart of worship - thanks again to jiayen for introducing this song to me :) (note: sorry, spelt you wrongly again jiayan) see Matthew 15:8-9 "These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. They worship me in vain; their teachings are but rules taught by men." what it is all about.. "No matter how important all of the external things are in our worship, the biggest obstacle in worship is what God has to deal with in us. The biggest problem in worship is our heart..No amount of action in a worship service, no amount of the externals, no amount of religious stuff that we can pack into our lives, no matter how well planned, how beautiful, how much we like it, how good it makes us feel, no amount of that can ever make up for a heart problem in our relationship with God." see http://www.centralpc.org/sermons/2006/s060115.htm lyrics and chords at http://www.justworship.com/worshipsongs/heartofworship.html
and this song that i don't know the name of.. i heard this at my niece's kindergarten, and my niece taught me the lyrics :) it goes like this
i'm gonna clap my hands to show i love you gonna jum around and sing your praise coz you are everything to me your're the best friend that i love Jesus i love your name (2x)
i'm gonna stamp my feet to show i love you gonna jump around and sing your praise coz you are everythin to me your're the best friend that i love Jesus i love your name (2x)
therefore in life, Thee pour us high there's one thing that stays the same, the same no power of king, can do anything to take your love away (note: this verse is from another song, "absolutely nothing", my niece sang me the whole song, but i couldn't recall correctly)
(it should have been..) i'm gonna lift my hands up high coz you died for me upon he cross you took away my sins and shake..
i'm gonna clap my hands to show i love you gonna jum around and sing your praise coz you are everything to me your're the best friend that i love Jesus i love your name (2x)
i'm gonna stamp my feet to show i love you gonna jump around and sing your praise coz you are everythin to me your're the best friend that i love Jesus i love your name (2x)
i made pasta and served it to my dad today. thank God for that. i haven't spoken to my dad for the longest time. thank God for leading me towards taking this little step.
i put him (my dad) on my impact list today and prayed over it. pastor derek led us in the prayer and God has answered my prayer instantly.. now i know why i was prompted to detour to ntuc for groceries after church.
***
my heart jumped when ann asked for a volunteer to lead worship for sunday school on 24th nov. i wanted to, but was afraid i wouldn't know how. as usual, i waited to see who would volunteer. everyone did the same, nothing happened for a while. then sheila volunteered.. me.. i happily agreed. i don't know how i'll go about it yet, but i know God will see me through this.
***
been thinking about learning to play musical instruments (for worship) for a while and finally got around to speaking to serena this morning about buying a keyboard. she readily agreed when i asked her about piano lessons for my niece! thanks to crystal for setting this up. thank God for her phone call last thur, telling me to approach serena for piano lessons for shihui. i'm filled with excitement for shihui and my family. i can see God's blessings on them!
we sang heart of worship again today, this song has been in my heart ever since jiayan taught it to me last last week. it was sung at cell meeting and it cropped up again during the music workshop at nlb learning festival when i spoke to jonathan, who is also a christian and a keyboardist..
i think God wants me to understand more about the heart of worship.. it's more than a song..
missed sunday school for 3 weeks due to softball competitions and finally got to go today! the children were like angels (was with the p1's today), christen told me she had been practising the xmas dance that i'd taught, kovi chatted happily with me and asked "how come i so long never come", another cute little girl whose name i didn't get kept swinging my arms & told me smelled like her mom.. (i'm sure she meant it as a compliment) i was especially touched when the p5 boys (who usually sits at the back) went right to the front of the first row on their own initiative and sat on the floor to take notes of the memory verses. Thank God!
what we learnt at suday school today: Wear the Full Armor of God
Ephesians 6:10-14 10 Be strong in the Lord and in His great power. 11 Wear the full Armor of God. Wear God's armor so that you can fight against the devil's evil tricks. 12 Our fight is not against the people on earth. We are fighting against the rulers and authorities and the powers of this world's darkness. We are fighting againast the spiritual powers of evil in the heavenly world. 13 That is why you need to get God's full armor. Then on the day of evil you will be able to be strong. And when you have finished the whole fight, you will still be standing. 14 So stand strong, with the belt of truth tied around your waist. And on you rchest wear the protection of right living.
What we wear for God's armor. Belt of truth (God's word) Protection of right living (righteousness thru God) Shoes of peace (stand strong in the good news of peace) Shield of faith (to stop the burning arrows of the Evil One) Helmet of salvation (accept God's salvation) Sword of the spirit (pray in the spirit at all times for all God's people)
during the main service today, i went out for prayer when the pastor asked those who wanted help in doing what God wants us to do, to go forward for prayer, and i was deeply touched by God's love 3 times in a row, i couldn't stop my tears each time the pastor prayed. (he prayed and stopped and asked how i felt and prayed again and asked again and prayed again) the first time he prayed, i felt hot as tears flowed involuntarily, and also felt peaceful as my tears dried. then as i shared about my situation (why i wanted to do what God wanted), i felt shivers / trembling (like when it's very cold) except that it started from within me (not because of the temperature), somewhere near my heart, and also my feet, i asked the pastor if it was cold, and he confirmed that it wasn't. i shared that i get these trembles when i speak about things that are close to my heart, and especially when it's about God. the pastor prayed again and this time i felt warm around my head and the shivers subsided. i asked the pastor whether i had felt hot because of all the crying, and he asked me if crying while watching sad movies made me feel hot, my answer was no. i also shared that i often cry when i worship, because i feel touched. but when i go out for prayer, i weep so hard that people who don't know what's happening would definitely be worried.. (actually, i don't know what's happening either but i wasn't worried, i'd always felt safe and loved whenever this happens)
i'd been wondering why i always weep so hard (was it because of wrong things i've done or ...?) & God sent a messenger to assure me at sunday school today, kovi had me assured when he shared that when he and his mom was touched by the holy spirit and given the gift of tongue last weekend by God, he and his mom both had tears flowing non-stop as well. he was smiling and happy when he told it to me, it helped me understand that my crying during prayers was not some form of punishment from God for not being able to do all the things He wants me to do, but because i'm touched by His love! btw, adorable kovi is a 7 yr old boy from korea!
attended my first vocal class today at music forest, and my teacher is wu jia ming laoshi! (i didn't know beforehand, such a pleasant surprise) down memory lane >> i remember running to see who was singing on tv when i first heard him sing, he sings beautifully!
and coincidentally, today, he mentioned different reactions to singers, well, he fitted in my category of singers where i'd react by running nearer to take a closer look when i hear them singing from a distance.. i'm so privileged to be learning from him.. and he's good at weaving jokes into the lesson, reminds me of mr kunalan from spe, they both make learning fun for learners.
to think i almost backed out coz it's quite impossible to get there on time after work. i'm so glad i went. am bursting with excitment.
he also mentioned that the motivating factors for taking classes is an influential factor with regard to a student's progress - whether intrinsic or extrinsic (reminded of what was covered in sports psychology)
y did i go for this course? (a question asked during the audition as well..)
i've always longed to sing beautifully since young, but i have a phobia of singing in the presence of others
i had only managed to overcome it recently by signing up and completing a basic singing class at Ark music school, located just across the road from LAdanceconnection, where i used to dance full-time.
i had to sing in the presence of the teacher and 5 other classmates weekly for 12 classes. it was frightful for me, but am glad to have done it.
there was an opportunity to perform at the end of the course but i couldn't summon enough courage to do it.. ~sigh~ i regretted missing the opportunity to overcome my fear of singing in public for an audience and ended up registering for a singing contest at Ark instead so that i could try singing for an audience in public. i chickened out last minute.. ~sighs~ regrets again
then i went for another competition - live the dream - and finally managed to not chicken out of the audition. thank god it was a closed door audition. i forgot the lyrics and had a sore throat (flu virus) but felt a great sense of achievement in overcoming my fear.
thankful that i've had this first audition experience that didn't go well for me as it helped calm my nerves at the subsequent audition that i went to - the one for this vocal course that i'm doing now.. i thought i didn't do well, so happy when they called a week later to tell me i got through. thank God!
well, this longing to sing beautifully has deepened since attending church early this year & i really want to learn to sing beautifully for God
looking forward to this fruitful and exciting learning journey..
I'm going to church next Sunday! I've missed church for 2 Sundays in a row & feel awful... Been so torn between going for game and service.. Thank God our games are going to be in the afternoons from now!! Yay
Missed helping out at urbankids sunday school too, sigh
daNceTitUde 2007 was a blast!! enjoyed every minute of it, from the first rehearsal to the post-concert suppers.. haven't been dancing for the longest time in my life since i picked up dance and this has brought back fond memories of good old mad-about-dance days ~ sigh ~
it felt really cosy catching up and hanging out with long-time dancemates who are now each busy with work and life, and meeting new frens who are passionate about dance
had intended to quit dancing for good after the concert, but now i'm itching to start dancing all over again!
~ much later ~ found out tabtv 2 was aired when friends told me they caught me on the show
*** nov 2007 updates:
recently played nurse cecilia woo for episode 11 of chinese drama "mi tu"
played a singing-talking-dancing tree at Asian Children Festival 2007 performing to a live audience is exhilarating, especially so as the kids were ultra spontaneous and apparently enjoyed the show tremendously
was talking to lehlioman about a recent spate of casting calls and acting jobs, and he commented that i should start a blog.. sort of a picture record of the roles i've done, & that it'd be fun. haven't been conscientiously taking pictures during the filming so far but am quite happy to take up this suggestion. some of the roles conjure up hilarious memories as i now recall the pics that i might put up. it does seem fun already
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
