all i want for 2009 is..

to hear Your voice..

so much have happened this year.. as i think about what has happened the past 2 years, things that happened during childhood also came to mind.. that God has actually been in my life since young, without me really knowing, that i've had His favor since that special moment in kindergarten..

and as i think about 2009, the things that i would like to do.. (so many.. haha) i realize that the only thing that matters most is for me to hear Your voice..

just as i'm thinking about hearing Your voice being all i need.. i came upon this website that helps in hearing God's voice (was actually just browsing random christian graphics from the net.. or so i thought.. :P)
>> godtalkstoyou.com (image source)
thank you Lord for always being there for me and telling me so clearly !! :)

The Lord is my shepherd

Like a Shepherd
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 2 by Os Hillman
Friday, December 26 2008

He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart (Isa 40:11a).
Sometimes we can see Christ modeled in the most unusual ways.

Gerry, our neighbor, is a shepherd to the neighborhood dogs. Once Buddy, the roving black lab of the neighborhood discovered that Gerry was a wellspring of treats by simply pushing open his broken front door, he began bringing other dogs on his visits. They made themselves welcome in his front foyer.

One of them was an older cocker spaniel named Joe Cocker. But unlike Buddy, Joe didn't leave after thirty minutes. He ended up staying for two days! Finally Gerry called the name listed on his dog tag and found out that his owner lived up the road. As Gerry started to walk him home Joe stopped as soon as he reached the hill because he was too weak to climb it. So Gerry picked him up and carried him home. It was not a short walk and Joe was not a small dog.

Day after day this routine continued and I was amazed at how much Gerry grew to love that dog. He'd let him stay at his house for days at a time and Joe was content to just hang out with him and loved to sleep on top of his dirty laundry. Then one day Gerry got a call from Joe's owner to let him know that Joe had died. When Angie called Gerry to see how he was, he choked back the tears as he talked about him.

Jesus is often referred to as the good shepherd in the scriptures and his followers are referred to as His sheep He carries close to His heart. There are times in our lives when Jesus knows that we cannot make it up our own hill in life. It may be because we are facing financial ruin, debilitating health or insurmountable grief. But no matter what the reason, we can trust that Jesus is there to carry us.

Allow Him to pick you up so you can find rest in His arms and comfort in hearing His heartbeat as he carries you close to his heart.

a new slate for 2009

why do i weep so much when You tell me You love me
i can never comprehend Your love for me
how you've made me and called me
and see me as precious and beautiful

they say i've grown so fast and am trying to outrun You
how could i ever run ahead of You..?
all i wanna do is love you and follow You all the days of my life,
and pray that my thoughts will please You,
that my heart will always yearn for You with fervor
and that my actions will glorify You

do i really wanna grow up..?
i wish i could be Your little baby forever
and be cradled in Your embrace always
but i know You have the best plans for me
and i do want to walk where You lead me
i want to tell the world of Your goodness
and shout to the world that salvation belongs to You

i will cry like a baby for Your love overwhelms me
i can't do anything else but weep
when i know how much You love me
who am i that You've come and saved me
that you know me and my naughty deeds and yet still rescued me
and keep reminding me of how much You love me

i will grow and learn to walk boldly
for i know You are watching over me
and will help me when i fall
that You want me to soar with You
and not be afraid
for Your great big hands are upon me
and Your love will carry me and see me through each day

***

was very touched at today's service
pastor cynthia talked about forgiving and forgetting and starting on a new slate for 2009
so overwhelmed by God's love again

my first xmas party as a christian

last nite we had an early xmas get-together at sulian's place..

we had a great evening playing name games, autograph bingo and getting to know each other better over dinner, catching up on what we've been up to lately and sharing funny food stories

this party was held to celebrate xmas, which is all about Jesus, His love, joy and peace that He wants to share and give everyone.. so we shared briefly about xmas, and watched a video testimony of God's amazing love and grace shared by Neville Tan, an ex-secret society gang member who encountered God in prison and gave his life to Jesus.

it was a touching testimony and many of us could relate to the amazing peace and love that was experienced by neville when we receive Jesus into our hearts and dedicate our lives to follow Him.. after the video, sulian shared her testimony and every word she spoke was just perfect.. it was such a simple and great testimony.. then everyone also shared thoughts that came to mind and it was wonderful because we could sense the things that were said were close to our hearts, it was amazing how everyone opened their hearts and shared personal stuff from the depths of their heart.. it felt really good to hear what each and everyone had to say

everything that everyone said flowed so beautifully, and we could feel God's presence so strongly, there was such a great sense of peace

we are thankful and glad for everyone's presence at the party, for open hearts and for making time to celebrate and share thoughts this xmas together, special thanks to siow kee, sulian and daxiong for gamely planning and doing this together and especially to God for bringing us all together and guiding us along.. for giving us the right words at the right time and for loving us all so much

really looking forward to the next get-together session.. to share a yummy brazilian recipe that i've recently gotten from Rosa.. heavenly cheesebread :)

to East Timor with love

recently returned from East Timor..
started a blog in tetum-english to share God's love for the people and children of east timor, and to continue to learn the language..

prophetic painting

who am i - casting crowns

"A church with one heart and one mind will make for a won world."

“He who loves God must love his brother also. —1 John 4:21”

READ: 1 John 4:7-21

Extract from ODB

"Did you ever notice that some Christians act decidedly un-Christian while trying to prove how godly they are?

One example is a man who angrily shuts his hymnbook and pouts through the rest of the service if the song leader does not sing every verse of a song.

Another example is the church where members argue against adding a new service geared toward youth, because they dislike the music.

Then there is the church in which the middle aisle is a demarcation line between two social classes of people who refuse to mix.

As Christians, we must stand for truth as spelled out in the Bible. Though truth was not violated in any of these situations, these professing followers of Christ acted in decidedly unloving ways. They chose to protect personal preferences rather than demonstrate the love of Jesus to a watching world.

As we read 1 John 4:7-21, we see that God’s love seeks to transform our behavior. In His love, we don’t react disdainfully toward others simply because we don’t agree.

Jesus said, “By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35). Do others see the love of Jesus in you? — Dave Branon

May all I am and do and say
Give glory to my Lord alway,
And may no act of mine cause shame
Nor bring reproach upon His name. —Anon."

dreams

found a Christian Dream Symbols Dictionary

and also some thoughts about dream interpretation from Hannah's Cupboard
"The one who knows the exact interpretation of every single one of your dreams is God.. Pray before you go to bed that God will speak to you in the nighttime and when you awake that you will understand how he did.

When you have a puzzling dream, submit it to God and ask him to make known the meaning. Then let your mind relax about it and wait. It may come quickly or over a few days or weeks."

"..pray before you go to sleep each night that God will put a hedge of protection around your dreams.. "I will both lie down in peace and sleep; for You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety." (Psalm 4:8) or "For so He give His beloved sleep." (Psalm 127:5)"

"The emotions you feel in your dreams are extremely important in interpreting them. It may be even more important than the dream sequence itself.."

forgiveness

hmmmm it is sometimes possible to let unforgiveness creep in unconsciously..

woke up late yesterday morn at 730am.. the time when prayer meeting starts!!
i had lost my handphone which i used as an alarm, and had used another radio alarm which didn't go off due to some reason..
i felt so awful, i forgot to thank God for waking me up in time for urbankidz and focused only on the accusations from the enemy that i was LATE :(

dorothy came to me several times and asked me how i was that morning.. each time i replied ok..good.. but it just didn't feel right..

i didn't even notice anything wrong till zach came to me and asked what was wrong with me today..? why was i different from other days? thank God for sending zach to remind me.. that set me thinking and i realized i had let my waking up late affect my mood.. later that day, i asked God for forgiveness and He said it's ok.. and tears just flowed.. overwhelmed by His grace and love again.. that was when serena saw Holy Spirit raining down on us, and monica saw rays of blue light shining through white clouds which covered us from black clouds..

Thank You Lord! Praise You Lord!!

Father i pray for sensitivity, openness and honesty in the depths of my heart and greater self awareness of the state of my heart. please help me to be sensitive to You and spend every moment with You. in Jesus' precious name. Amen

"Who am I that
You are mindful of me
That You hear me
When I call
Is it true that
You are thinking of me
How You love me
It's amazing"
Extract from Friend of God lyrics



worship songs from last weekend :)



Here in Your Presence lyrics
"Found in Your hands, fullness of joy
Every fear suddenly wiped away here in Your presence
All of my gains now fade away
Every crown no longer on display, here in Your presence
Heaven is trembling in awe of Your wonders
The kings and their kingdom arestanding amazed
Here in Your presence, we are undone Here in Your presence, Heaven and Earth become one Here in Your presence, all things are new Here in Your presence, everything bows before You
Wonderful, beautiful, glorious, matchless in every way"

Thank You Lord

for..
- wonderful testimonies at urbankidz
- accomplishing so much at work with so little time
- managing seemingly impossible back to back dance rehearsals
- getting costumes and accessories for dance comp with ease despite last minute shopping
- unity and teamwork
- support and encouragement
- dedicated, gifted, and God-loving guitar teachers and coursemates
- prayers
- worship
- Your words
- Your love
- khon kaen
- love, warmth and Your Holy Spirit
- healing testimonies
- fellowship
- bday parties, company party
- prizes and gifts
- yummy food
- waking me up
- Your peace love and joy!

princess

haven't spent time with my nieces and nephew for almost 2 weeks, missed them much, was wondering how they've been, whether they'd still be close to me..
well, last night i finally got to meet them, and the first words they said to me was "hello princess!" :)

i couldn't play with them for long, and when i left for guitar practice, the eldest was making a gift for me..
she said i could open it when i get home later
i waited till the next morning so i could open it with her..
and she presented it to me with such big smiles!! :)

this is the gift she made me..

and she wrapped it so beautifully in a gift box!

that's love..
Praise You Lord! Thank You Lord for such love!

God loves me!

my fren's brother came up to me & asked to pray for me last Sunday after service
he was in tears as he told me how God loved me and how precious i was to Him and much much more, it was a long prayer and we both ended up in tears..

deeply touched that i mattered so much to God, and deeply touched by how attuned and obedient this brother was (he was actually rushing off for reservist but had came down from the balcony seats looking for me, just to pray for me!) he said he started tearing when he saw me from the back (not knowing it was me) and felt God saying those things to him.. it felt like God was the one speaking to me and holding my hands and embracing me as he prayed for me..

this is the 2nd time someone has told me (with tears streaming) that God told them to tell me that He loves me very much.. both times at the back of the audi..

Thank You Lord! I love You!!

birthday blessings

woke up on my birthday to this wonderful surprise from tin, our live-in homemaker from myanmar.. she's been with us for just a few months.. she calls me sister :) it superwarmed my heart when i found the bright and jolly card thoughtfully hidden underneath the usual breakfast sandwich that she prepares for me daily:)

that started my day wth such warmth and joy, thank you Jesus!

later that morn, mom shared that my pre-school niece had been wondering aloud as to what she shld get for my bday, well, knowing that she had actually thought about getting me a gift, has already blessed my heart so.. as we were on the way to lunch, she decided that it'd be the beautiful painting that she had painted at an art competition..


i love it.. thank you God for this gift you've given to her, i pray that You let her use it to bless many many more people in her life

***

me and my nephew shares the same bday!
he's gotten an electric guitar for his bday!!
God bless him and teach him new songs and worship that pleases God's heart
love to watch and hear him twang :)


we had a lovely bday lunch together rite after his bday celebration at kindergarten
and here's my nieces singing me d bday song! how beautiful!!


that evening was ministry cell and each one was to find 5 other people to do prophesy with. was deeply touched and much blessed by God's words..
.. first person who paired up with me received a picture of my feet in mud and dirt with the words "beautiful are the feet of those who share the gospel", and also had a vision of me dancing and worshipping!! both me and my first partner needed tissues when we were done.. :)
.. the following 4 messages were also spot on and had me deeply moved

was amazed how my bday blessings spilled over to the next day.. at guitar class, the teacher blessed me with a guitar strap that had Psalms 40:1-2 engraved on it!

he just decided to bring it along, thinking of giving it to whoever testified that morn, and it just happened to be me, who for the first time in guitar class who had daringly volunteered to testify God's goodness with a song that God had blessed me with.

the verse spoke to me and i couldn't help but burst into tears as he read it to the class, and i was awed and speechless when he turned and handed it to me after he finished reading the verse.. thank you Lord!! i'm so blessed. and i only realized that he had it especially engraved, a long time ago, when i had went up to thank him later, and share how i'm blessed by the verse.. which God had just told me the night before.. through the other prophecies i'd received..

God keeps affirming that He's my Savior, my Healer, my Redeemer, my Rock, my All, my Everything!! that i am saved and safe in His arms for always. i love You Lord!!

faithfulness

received this word twice from God - once during soaking at transformational worship arts when i asked God what he liked abt me, and once during prophetic circle at cell group.. a brother said God is pleased with my faithfulness to Him. didn’t know what “faithfulness” meant exactly then, but was just happy that God liked something abt me, and that faithfulness is something approved by God.

well last tuesday, i learnt what faithfulness is! from attending bible study with pastor michael on the epistle of James 4&5 titled Faith and the world

faithfulness that God is pleased with would be faithfulness to Him and not to the world. For those who are married to Christ cannot be a friend to the world, that would make one a enemy of Christ..

and the world in this sense doesn’t refer to physical things like money, niteclubs, cinemas or ktv, but it is the invisible spirit of the world, where satan seeks to destroy faith, hope and love. it is a system and invisible environment which is opposed to God. we must use God’s word and truth to guard against the spirit of the world. 1John 4 do not believe every spirit. we must test the spirit by asking whether they confess that Jesus has come in the flesh to deliver us form sin and give us eternal life. James 4:1-2 murder is not physical, but refers to resorting to anything to get what you want, stemming from selfish desires. it could be hurting others through oppression, and killing them spiritually. Galatians 5:19-21 teaches abt fruits of the flesh - fornication, adultery, jealousy, outbursts of anger, sorcery, and fruits of the Holy Spirit, when we abide in God and He in us.

we were dead but have come alive because of Jesus. our old selves have been crucified with Jesus and we have risen up with Jesus and brought into the light from the darkness, and we should shine for Him and set ourselves apart from the world, we must be different, and not be afraid to be different, no matter what people may think, die to ourselves and do whatever God wants us to do. this is not something that i find easy to do, nor do well at, (i struggle quite often in trying to do things that God wants me to do, out of fear of what people might think or feel) but i just keep trying, and God is so encouraging, that He sees my little efforts as pleasing to Him.. :~>

being faithful to Christ, means everything else doesn’t matter, only God matters, and what God wants matters, not what we want. For God is good, and knows best and whatever He gives us would be the best for us, for He has our best interest at heart, so do not complain on our hearts when we see “lack” in things that we have or do not have, for we have no lack! we have all we need in God, all we need is God, and we have the best when we receive whatever God gives us

that means i shouldn’t think about wanting anything because God knows my needs better than me, i should be just happy that i have what suits me best right now, that is focus in loving God!! thank you Lord :)

faithfulness is to present ourselves as an instrument for righteousness. be dead to sin and be alive in Christ. give ourselves to God. who we present ourselves as slave to - to sin which leads to death or obedience which leads to righteousness? die daily and present ourselves to God daily. do not conform to the world, do not let the world squeeze ourselves into its mold, its system and its thoughts but be transformed by our mind when we abide in God and Him in us. the world here refers to ungodly thought patterns, which is emnity to God. it doesn’t refer to the things we do (watching movies, singing ktv), but the spirit abt it.

i think when God says “abide in My love” - it is more than being loved by God, soaking in His love,enjoying His love, but knowing the things God love, knowing His heart and acting on it, and doing His will!

God yearns for us to be faithful to Him and His heart breaks when we sin. Humble ourselves and let God rule. it shouldn’t matter that people hate you, it only matters what God thinks.

knowing now what faithfulness means, i’m just wowed that God that He is pleased with my efforts in learning and trying to be faithful.. WOW GOD thank You for this faithfulness from You to be faithful to You and only You!!

Lord, please help me t be an obedient child, who will be sensitive to your softest sigh and quick to follow Your way and do Your will. Amen

pictures from soaking session

here are some of the pictures and words received by God's little darlings during soaking at our cell meeting on 19 Sep 08

we had an awesome time, thank you Lord!!

what i learnt through a trial

something strange happened yesterday morn

it happened just before daybreak, i'd been sleeping for almost 24 hours since the evening before, the first that i've fallen into such a deep sleep, probably deadbeat from going after after a kid who was running all over the place and also sick from flu of sorts

i felt and saw huge strong hands pressing against my ears while i was technically asleep. i couldn't move, couldn't make any audible noise, knew something was not right, and tried to move away, the hands pressed harder when i moved away, and it hurt slightly, when i tried to make the hand go away, but another hand (coz the 2 hands were still on my ears) did funny things on my tummy. i panicked but couldn't make a sound, couldn't get up, nor wake up, i could see the room, but knew i was in sleep mode

it then dawned on me to call out to Jesus (how could i have waited so long to?!!) so i did and the thing went away instantly.. whatever it was, Jesus is always with us, and ready to come to our rescue, if only we'd look to Him! i came to, and put my hands in the air and praised God! and gave my heart to Jesus again

i learnt that in trials, we must look to God first of all, and not as a last resort, not to try to overcome things with our own might but to rely on Jesus in all situations, that i must always look to Him first.

i've never experienced this before, but know that i have nothing to fear, because JESUS ruLeZ and our victory is in Him,

that same morning as i came to and waited upon God, i realized i'd been healed of my terribly sore throat and sickness. Hallelujah!
Jesus rUleZ.. Jesus rUleZ.. Jesus rUleZ

***

i asked God to forgive me for not totally relying on Him, for not instinctively looking to Him, and to search my heart and set my heart right before Him, coz i dun wanna allow this to happen again, i wanna close all doors to things that are not from God and allow only God to rule my heart.

felt a breakthrough as i obeyed God and did what i sensed He wanted me to do - ask for forgiveness, He showed me this fear of man and invisible wall that i've built around myself, and as a result i've said and done things, and/or not said nor done things (eg avoiding, running away, resisting), whether consciously or otherwise, this is not right, and not what He wants, He wants an open loving giving heart, not just to Him but to all whom He love.. and He handheld me and freed me!! the act of asking for forgiveness and prayer does wonders. Thank You Lord my life is Yours.

Holy Spirit Baptism

Have you received the Holy Spirit?
When the apostle Paul met the twelve believers in Ephesus (Acts 19:2) he asked them a question - "Have you received the Holy Spirit?" They answered "No, they hadn't even heard about receiving the Holy Spirit". Paul prayed together with them and "the Holy Spirit came upon them and they spoke with tongues and prophesied". The same thing happened to the 120 people waiting on God's promise of His Holy Spirit in Jerusalem on the day we now call Pentecost. They also spoke with tongues and prophesied (Acts 1 & 2 ).

What is the baptism in the Holy Spirit for?
Jesus said that we would "receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you" in Acts 1:8. Power to live holy lives, power to witness, power to pray, to understand scripture, to minister, and to lay our lives down (Acts 9:17-20; John 16:14; Luke 24:24; Rom . 8:26). The Holy Spirit is to be received by all believers so that they can receive, with the power, certain "gifts" from God. Gifts of healing, power wisdom, power faith, power knowledge, power miracle and power to speak the truth of God. In other words , the Holy Spirit is to be received to receive power to be the active "body of Christ" ministering in the earth today. The Apostle Paul said for us to "earnestly desire spiritual gifts" (1 Cor. 12:31, 14:1)

How can I receive the Holy Spirit?
With other Spirit filled Christians or privately, raise your hands up to God in thankfulness and praise. You might close your eyes or leave them open. The important thing is to "ask" - believing God's promise is for you - and then to "receive" of your own free will the blessing of God, called the Baptism of the Holy Spirit. Start to praise God with your voice, tongue and lips. He will not force you to speak in tongues but you may if you wish. As the "Truth" of God's promised blessing fills you, let it set you free. Step out in faith. Try to say something in a language that only God could understand speaking mysteries to God (1 Cor. 14:2). Maybe you will only be bold enough to speak a few syllables but as you boldly repeat them God will bless you with more . Like a child, your new language of prayer to God will grow. Don't be afraid. This language is not for the benefit of other people it is between you and your Lord and Savior. You will probably not even understand what you are saying, but be assured that God says that as you use this prayer language you will be built up and become stronger in faith (Jude 20). Your private worship of God will be blessed. You do not pray in tongues with your mind but with your spirit (1 Cor. 14:14-15) you are praying with y our spirit to God who is a spirit (John 4:24).

Even if you do not have the faith to speak in tongues at this time, its important that you desire to (1 Cor. 14:1,5). One day you may just find yourself doing so. Nevertheless because you invited the Holy Spirit to come into the "house" of your life He ha s (Rev. 3:20). You will therefore find a new intimacy with Him as you worship and study God's ways. A new "fire" will burn in your life. A new fervency for God will be experienced and a new level of faith will be your. From time to time you may find the a rdor of your fellowship at a lower level. No need for alarm - just repent of your distraction and ask the Holy Spirit to fill you anew. There will always be only one "Baptism of the Holy Spirit" but there can be many fillings of the Holy Spirit of God (Ep h. 3:14) God wants you to either be hot or cold - never ever be satisfied with a lukewarm Christian life (Rev 3:14-22). As you walk in the Spirit you will not fulfill the lusts of the flesh (Gal. 5:16-25).

Extracted from Holy Spirit Baptism

book of james

today has been an extra special day.
i received a new song while singing on my way to work

was supposed to go for an audition in the evening which didn't happen after all, and instead found out on the way home that pastor michael was teaching book of james at coos tonite! it was held at 308, and pastor michael kept saying he loved the room so much, it was so cosy and it feels like home and family, it does feel really warm in the heart when he said that. 308 is special becoz that's where we have children ministry, and we ask God to bless every corner of the room every Sunday morning :)

i wouldn't miss listening to pastor michael for the world, he is a man of God, i've been so deeply blessed by his sermons..
pastor michael has been diagnosed with cancer for the past 18 months and doctors had given him negative reports
and today, he shared that he has been totally healed!! doctor's reports show that his cancer cell count is now lower than the average person! Hallelujah!!

he and his wife (it was so so lovely to see them ministering together in partnership:)) has just returned from a long holiday in England, Jersey island, where he received a word from a man he didn't know - who told him that he is cleansed and darkness has left him, and he instantly knew he had been healed. God had given him faith using someone he didn't know. and he shared that faith is a gift from God, and it can only come from God, when God speaks, when you hear from Him personally

God works in amazing ways. obedience is so important, how being obedient to God to do the things that He want us to do can mean life or death, no matter how big (difficult) or small (unimportant) it seems to us, sometimes it doesn't make sense to us, or may even seem strange, but what matters is God's purpose and only He knows best, and we must be obedient to do what He has given us to do, whatever it may be. die to self and follow Jesus.. amen

during lunch at hawker, and the tissue auntie came by again, see her almost every week, today she said that her husband was ill and had to see doctor, asked her if she wanted prayers, but she declined, put one packet of tissue in my bag and was thankful to God that i have that pack of tissue in my bag during bible study that evening

i felt warm in that room, though i knew the air con's working and knew Holy Spirit was with me. once pastor michael's wife started praying, tears started rolling, and i couldn't stop it, and it just kept streaming down as pastor michael talked. i think i must have teared non-stop for abt an hour (the pack of tissue was really handy, as i used up the pack, i was thinking, God, how.. it's going to run out soon.. and that's my only pack.. i'd be really messy with so much tears pouring..), till i felt my eyes become puffy, but God is good, my tears stopped just before the pack ran out. what He said tonite just touched my heart so. God taught me about faith, that i can rest in Him come what may and that i can be happy and rejoice all the time because i have Him

every time i experience God, i'd wish the whole world was with me to experience the same, i'd wish i'd had invited everyone i know to church with me, how could i let them miss out on something so wonderful, yet i love to experience God alone, so that i can focus fully on him and not be distracted by the person next to me..

book of james (1:1-13) teaches about faith, trials and tribulations, the same thing (tearing involuntarily) happened to me when i read job on the plane to nepal.. i am ready God, because i have You. help me to be joyful always, no matter what comes and let me grow in maturity in ministry

God direct me, inspect me, correct me, protect me, and perfect me.

ODB

ODB today is the the same verse that crystal shared with me yesterday evening!

READ: Genesis 3:1-13

The man said, “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate.” —Genesis 3:12

Not long ago my wife asked me to pick up a belated birthday card for her brother. Scanning the rack, I ran across a card with a chimpanzee on the front holding a phone receiver in his hand.

This is what it said: “I better not hear . . . about how upset you are that I missed your birthday. I mean, how do you know I wasn’t in a serious car accident and lying in some ditch out in the middle of nowhere? . . . Well, I may have forgotten your birthday, but I didn’t exactly get any phone calls to see if I was okay. All I know is you better have a good excuse why I didn’t hear from you on your birthday!”

The extent to which people avoid legitimate responsibility is almost laughable, but it is nothing new. When God confronted Adam for eating the forbidden fruit, he chose to blame his wife and God: “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate” (Gen. 3:12).

When we have done something wrong, we can either accept legitimate blame for what we have done or shift the blame to others. The way that pleases God and results in spiritual growth is to accept personal responsibility for our actions. Irrationally blaming others is no laughing matter. — Dennis Fisher

His eye our secret thoughts behold,
His mercies all our lives enfold,
He knows our purposes untold,
You cannot hide from God! —Ackley


A good test of a person’s character is his behavior when he is wrong.

Bible in one year: Isaiah 25-27; Proverbs 24:13-22

Extracted from facebook today

new song

God gave me a new song this morning for a dear dear friend
and it goes like this

All day
Everyday
soak in Your Love
soak in Your Luuurrrve..
o..
soak in Your Love

i pray that God soak Eng in His amazing love and grace and watch over her and protect her and guide her in all that she does. God is so good and has only the best plans for her, and will teach her to hear Him and see Him and feel Him in her own special way Amen

special prayer

was asked during morning prayers today whether anyone received special prayers during the Father's blessing (at dinner last friday), i almost blurted out that i did (receive a prayer that was really special).. i've never received such a prayer before.. pastor asked me if i was single or had a family, and i knew he was referring to whether i was married / had children etc, i shook my head and told him that i was actually divorced.. must have sounded guilty saying that, it's not been easy dealing with it especially when God explicitly says that He hates divorce.. even though God had reassured me again and again that He loves me and knows my struggles, and answers my unspoken thoughts

the responses i got for my hesitant reply were really encouraging.. pastor's wife said that i should find another (she also prayed for me to be a mother) and pastor said he wanted to pray against feelings of rejection and for a husband for me! a godly man who loves me and would take care of me..

been telling God lately that i want to love only Him, and i do not want anyone or anything to distract me from Him, and been resisting relationships for a long time, now i just wanna do whatever that pleases God, and will be open if God tells me that is ok, that it is what He wants me to do. i know God loves little children, and i do want to raise up children who will love Him and serve Him and follow Him. i do want to be obedient and do anything that God wants me to.. i really do want to be free from the past and to hold God's hand and go wherever He leads, and not fear the unknown

God reminded me during today's service that He is always with me, that i won't ever be alone, no matter what happens, and that i can always run to Him, and He'll be there for me, i was weeping so hard i couldn't even sing, i could only worship with my tears and silent cries from my heart. thank you Lord for sitting me beside this kind lady who gave me tissue. i love you God

old pictures

colleagues were looking for dance costume ideas, rummaged & dug up old pics from dance, particularly liked this underwater slideshow.. :)

children absorb like a sponge

didn't know the games that we play and songs that we sing together (with my nieces and nephew when they were abt 3 years old) had such impact..

..was happily shocked when my 3 yr old nephew started singing "Lord i love You so" spontaneously by himself after i left the room for a while after singing to him some other new songs from our Lord (this is my 1st new song from God, been singing it to him irregularly since June, but didn't know till today that he actually remembers it and can sing it on his own!! coz he's always been just listening quietly and at many times seemingly distracted with his toys or twanging randomly on my guitar as i sing..?!) God is so awesome!

..just realized that my niece still remembers original word games that i had cooked up and played with her when she was younger (~4yrs old) - when we went out today, she initiated the same word game using different words..

..also learnt that it is important how things are done the first time with kids.. they remember it without reminders and they'll keep doing it the same way the next time.. the games we play at the pool and sequence of play follows the way we did it the first time i brought them to the pool.. and they will consider the routine as complete and that it's only okay to leave, when we've done everything as we did the first time.. (although they'll be flexible if it rains halfway through etc)

..fell asleep telling stories to my niece today and woke up with stickers on my face and arm :)
wonder if it's the punchinello story (you are special by max lucado) that started this.. i remember when i first told it, my nephew (just 2 yr old then) started putting star stickers on me as i told the story, without me telling him to..

Hallelujah! my niece designed this beautiful card yesterday all by herself for Jesus! i only passed her the blank card and she instantly figured out how it worked, and also immediately knew what she wanted to do with it.. make a card for Jesus :)

Thank You Lord for teaching us and blessing our days with love for You and fun and laughter, there's so much to share!

Just for You Lord and all that's in Your Heart

An Audience Of One
READ: Matthew 6:1-6

[Jesus] made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant. —Philippians 2:7

When I worked as a young journalist for Campus Life magazine, my assistant kept a plaque on her desk with this two-line poem: Only one life, ’twill soon be past / Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Reading that plaque brought me up short every time. Although I believed its truth, how could I put it into practice? How should my faith in the invisible world affect my day-to-day life in the visible world?

According to Jesus, it’s what God thinks of us that matters, not what others think. Jesus instructed us to pray in a closed room, where no one could see us, rather than in a public place where we might get credit for being spiritual (Matt. 6:6). In other words, live for God and not others.

Do we clamor for attention and achievement? Jesus invites us to let go of that competitive struggle, to trust that God’s opinion of us is the only one that ultimately counts.

How would our lives differ if we truly played to an audience of One? Certainly our sense of ego and rivalry would fade, because we would no longer need to worry about proving ourselves to others. We could concentrate instead on pleasing God by living in a way that would attract people to Jesus. — Philip Yancey

Teach me, my God and King,
In all things Thee to see,
And what I do in anything,
To do it as for Thee! —Herbert

Christ is seen most clearly when we remain in the background.

Bible in one year: Song of Songs 7-8; Proverbs 20:21-30

Extracted from RBC ministries

prophetic painting

attended the transformational worship arts conference last week, did prophetic painting and have seen first-hand how the arts can bypass the mind and go straight to hearts, bringing tears to eyes when God shows with words and pictures through people whom we've just met, that He knows our struggles, and that He is with us all the time, even when we don’t feel it or see it.

my first prophetic painting.. received from a new friend i met at the conference


another friend had told me just a few days before that she had a vision from God for me, and i was a big shiny star in a drop of water!! and God has told me before that the great big ocean in my dream represents His Love, it was really vast and all consuming, and it catches me and carries me.. no matter how i try to run away

Thank You Lord! pl Shine in me forever more

wattaday

woke up this morn at 5am, it was God who woke me as usual, coz my alarm was set for 630..

i wondered what God wanted with me so early.. He had a new song for me!!
and my guitar suddenly sounded so beautiful and perfect, not like Sunday when i had a disastrous and fatal tuning session, thought i might have damaged my guitar strings.. it was unusually painful on my fingers that night

i had to play very softly, coz it was early but every note sounded so nice..

and the song goes like this

o Lord o Lord
i want to be
wherever you want me
and i will be there

o Lord o Lord o Lord
lead me to wherever you want me to be

i dunno how to write d chords
which is clearly why the song is from God, not of my own mite

and it goes with another i wrote some time ago.. (written for my 3 yr old niece - she started humming it as she played with her toys, after i sang it to her thrice..)

Obey obey obey
there's nothing better than to trust and obey

it's supernatural for me to be playing the guitar and singing new songs just like that coz i can't even play the guitar! but the day i bought the guitar, God gave me a spontaneous new song! and i just strummed and sang at the same time, God is so good!

and this was the first song God gave me

Lord i love You so do You know
i wanna spend everyday with You
i love You i want You i need You
every moment of my life

no one else might even call it a song, it's probably more like a verse from a song to everyone else, but it's a mighty song to me and the kids i've written these songs for
Thank you Lord!

oh and wat made the day perfect was closing the day with this lovesong.. awesome!! it sounds like a lovesong from God.. and the message is the same as what started my day..


Thanks for making it so clear for me.
Hallelujah Jehova Shammah

facebook has daily bread

Having been set free from sin, you became slaves of righteousness. —Romans 6:18

On June 19, 1865, over 2 years after President Lincoln had signed the Emancipation Proclamation, General Gordon Granger rode into Galveston, Texas, and read General Order Number 3: “The people of Texas are informed that in accordance with a Proclamation from the Executive of the United States, all slaves are free.” For the first time, slaves in Texas learned that they were already free. Some were shocked; many others celebrated. June 19 soon became known as “Juneteenth.”

Nearly 25 years after the “Emancipation Proclamation” of the cross of Jesus, Paul wrote to the Roman believers. Some of them still did not understand what it meant to be free from sin’s bondage. They thought they could go on sinning because they were under grace (Rom. 6:15). So Paul reminded them of their status in Jesus by appealing to a familiar fact: Whatever we submit to becomes our master (John 8:34). To commit sin puts us in bondage to sin.

The other option is to be a slave of righteousness. Salvation actually means a change of bondage. As we once served sin, we are now committed to lives of righteousness because of the freedom Jesus provides.

My brothers and sisters, let us become in practice what we already are in status—free!
— Marvin Williams

The Savior can break sin’s dominion,
The victory He won long ago;
In Him there is freedom from bondage,
He’s able to conquer the foe. —Smith

read Romans 6:15-23

Daily bible verse
My soul yearns for you in the night; in the morning my spirit longs for you. When your judgments come upon the earth, the people of the world learn righteousness.
Isaiah 26:9

extracted from facebook Jun 19 08

Godtube

am deeply touched and encouraged by this testimony. brother Christopher Yuan shared his testimony at our church yesterday & today, was so blessed by his words, and awed by God's presence and love, couldn't stop weeping. think God has given me tears anointing :P



Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope"

God's promises are true and good, He is faithful, He knows us and loves us so much! Thank you God!!



Ephesians 2:8-9
For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God; not of works, lest anyone should boast.

orb or..

been prompted to write a testimony since yesterday but didn't know where to start
went on the internet, looking for a nice image on "The Lord my healer" and instead chanced upon a blog abt angel orbs

it's the first time i've heard this term
the dust particle explanation seemed logical, it was really quite dusty there but we took lots of pics during the trip and only this one had this circle of light

i only noticed this circle of light in this pic abt a month after returning from our mission trip in nepal.
our team felt the holy spirit moving strongly during ministry, and it was amazing to see how God led little children from the neighbourhood to us and 12 pre-believing children received salvation!

i had never seen this before and thought God wanted to to show us visibly that prayer moves the spiritual realm..
mission teammates who saw it after i asked them to look at the pic again, also thought it had to do with God as we had all felt God moving our hearts then.



whatever it is, we know God is real (because of the amazing love peace and joy He has put in our hearts, because of the personal testimonies He has blessed us with) and that He loves us very much

see God's word about light from bible verse

I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will hav the light of life.
John 8:12

Send forth your light and your truth, let them guide me.
Psalm 43:3

You are my lamp O Lord; the Lord turns my darkness into light.
2 Samuel 22:29

1 John 1:5 (New International Version)
Walking in the light
This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all.

"The LORD is my light and my salvation- whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life- of whom shall I be afraid?"
Psalm 27:1

consecration

i was deeply moved by sermon Watchman watchman what is the night? by David Wang, co-author of Still Red on 13 Apr 2008 Isa 21:11-12

Beautiful are the feet of those who carry the gospel of peace..

Take my life and let it be (consecrated, Lord to Thee)


i'm reminded of my return to Christ..
about a year ago when i dedicated my life to follow Jesus..
..only upon receiving the third confirmation of God's calling, during Pastor Michael Ross Watson's sermon on 22 Apr 2008 >>Knowing God's will, now available online

God 1st touched me with a rema bible verse when i was reading the book "Heaven is so real".
God confirmed His calling for me a 2nd time, when the same bible message was recited to me by my 4 yr old niece who didn't even speak nor understand much English then

These 3 confirmations happened within the short span of a week.. God made it very clear to me it was no coincidence.
His Love and presence is amazing and indescribably awesome. I pray for everyone to have a personal encounter with God too.

God's rema verse for me >> John 15:7

i was re-born as a Christian on 21 Mar 2008, Easter Day!

Thank you God

God heals God provides God is faithful

God healed my knee, God healed my mom of her vomit spells, fever and aches
my mom accepted Christ as her savior today!!
Praises to God thank you God!

God is so amazing
I can't thank God enough!!

21 Mar 2008

img source

what is baptism
my baptism falls on good friday

been waiting, and wondering when You'd let me do this.. thank you God!

prayer changes things

many might dismiss them as coincidences, but i've experienced it too many times (and recently, on 3 occassions in a day) to know that they are not.

just yesterday,

as i left for work last morning, i'd remember taking my little orange pouch which carried my cards, which i needed to use daily - ezlink, credit cards, atm cards, membership card, some cash and company access card. (i also remember thinking about God while waiting for the bus and catching myself smiling, as God put nice, happy thoughts in my mind) but as i was boarding the bus, and looking for my ezlink card, i realized that my orange pouch was missing.. i boarded the bus anyway, paying by cash so that i wouldn't be late for work.

i called my mom from the bus and asked her to help look for the pouch. she looked all over the house many times and even went down to the bus-stop, but couldn't find it. as a last resort, i asked my niece to help. she is also a child of God :) she is just 5 yrs old. i gave her specific places to search. she was really sweet and handled the phone as if it i would be hurt if she wasn't careful with the receiver.. saying, i'm now going to put you on the table okay? i can just visualize her putting it down with care before she went to look :) after trying in vain at the foyer seats, living room sofa, bedroom chest, and washer at kitchen, i asked her to help pray for me.. and she started singing! "Jesus loves me this i know.." i was touched and amused and captivated all at once by her spontaneous worship. and while into her second verse, she asked me aren't you going to hang up? lol

so i hanged up with a big smile, and also prayed to God to help my niece. i felt joyful and peaceful even though i had lost all my "important" cards and was already thinking about the follow up actions that i had to take if it's really gone, (i'd have to report lost cards to the banks and police asap, as required for my office access card)

just a while later, before i even reached my office, my niece called back.. saying that they had found my pouch!! thank God

prayer changes things

at work, i met this reader, he was a retiree and he asked me about a publication that would be useful in his research for investment, and i tried to help him, he started sharing with me the logic and importance of investment due to the inflation and rising prices of everything and having to plan for old age, and gave me kind advices to start planning now. the converstaion turned into an unusaully long one, and i though i had better go back to the counter in case other readers needed help. as i made my way back to the counter, he walked along, carrying on about the topic. the conversation at the counter turned into an unsually long one as well. i even had time to pray to God to use me, and guide me in what i should say, as i felt God must have allowed this unusual incident to happen for a reason. when he mentioned unaffordable rising medical expenses, i knew i had to share my recent testimony about the healing of my knee by God, and i did. God healed my knee when doctors couldn't figure out why it became swollen all of a sudden for no apparent reason and i couldn't walk. they had even done tests, x-rays and given me painkillers (which i refused to take as i didn't want to numb my senses) the many bottles of fluids they drew out to lessen the swelling came back almost instantly just the day after. i also shared that i find my peace and joy in God despite the apparently scary and bleak future for many due to the horror of inflation. as i know God will provide. i noticed a visible change come over his face as i shared. i know he has been touched by God deep inside. i saw the worry disppear from his face and in place i saw an expression of peace. he looked so different i knew something has changed in him. God must be working in him. i even invited him to church (strangely i didn't invite him to coos, but invited him to the church that my friend invited me to go to on 8 Mar Sat (tdy) to witness the testimony by an indonesian pastor at www.livingspring.org he patiently waited for me to retreive the address from the website and listened intently as i shared briefly about the pastor's testimony. he commented that it was good to have a belief :) i know God planned for this to happen and will bring him to Christ! thank God

prayer changes things

last night, i was awakened from my sleep by my mother's nightmare. i tried to shake her to wake her, but in vain. and i did shake her quite forcefully, as i was desperate to wake her, but this time was unlike the other times as she usually would come to quite easily. this time, she even kicked in her sleep and her fearful screams were so prolonged, i would have freaked out if i didn't know God. i started praying and as i prayed, i went on to freely worship God (something i learnt at worship training, to create a new song for God) and tears started flowing, i knew God was with me. i prayed for God to be with my mother and to help her and to protect her, and i kept praying and praying even though i was very tired as it happened in the middle of the night. then i saw peace come over my mom, she stopped kicking, and the fear and tightness in her body disppeared and although she didn't really wake up, i knew she was alright and whatever was disturbing her sleep no longer did so. that night, i awoke now and then to check and confirmed that her sleep was peaceful for the rest of the night. thank God!

coincidentally just a day ago, i had handed a little card to my niece, a gift that a friend of mine wanted her to have. it reads "prayer changes things"

this message now rings in my head. thank you God

God hears our thoughts and answers our prayers

been bogged down lately with thoughts abt my father (baby christian) "backsliding" as he didn't seem (to me) keen on attending cell group nor church service (if i didn't accompany him)

i accompanied him to the chinese service last sunday on 24th. he fell asleep during service and kept asking to leave during the altar call prayers, in the end he left first to eat fishball noodles while i stayed on pray.

when the pastor was done praying for everyone, he asked if there was anyone else who needed prayers, and i went out (for my knees were swollen for no apparent reason and i needed healing before nepal mission trip), waited quite a while and almost wanted to leave, but didn't, thank God.

when the pastor asked me what i wanted pray for, i followed my heart and answered that i wanted to pray for my father - he had seemed reluctant in attending cell group and baptism class, and lately even church service, although he had only recently acepted Christ. as the pastor prayed, i was so touched by God's love that i wept and wept. it feels amazing to be loved by God. i wish everyone would come to know God and experience His amazing love personally.

after the prayers, thanks to the pastor who prayed for me, i got in touch with the cell group leader whose home was viewed by my father to be the most conveniently located. on several occasions since, i overheard phone conversation of my father giving many excuses and rejecting invites to attend cell group.

the following sunday (yesterday), i couldn't accompany my father to chinese service as i had to work. i thought he wouldn't go on his and felt sad when i thought about him not going when i don't accompany him. i love going to church to be in fellowship and to worship God, and knows it is what God wants us to do. God never fails to recharge me spiritually and fill me so fully with of His love every Sunday at church

when i returned home on sunday night, my negative assumption about my father led me to shun him in disappointment.

this morning when i woke, i was elated when my father told me that he attended service yeaterday on his own! and he even met his friend who stayed in the neighbouring block at church! i can't thank God enough for bringing my father to church again. and sending him a friend to encourage him along the way! Thank You God!!

love stickers

my left knee's been swollen since last friday for no apparent reason
been referred to 6 different doctors over 3 visits to the hospital and extracted about 13 bottles of fluid from my knee for lab tests, xray and now scheduled for an mri

docs say there is inflammation in my knee but are not sure why yet (thus the mri)
i have to walk slowly to minimize the pain

each day when my nephew comes home from kindergarten, he'll suddenly quieten down and ask me "xiao gu, is your knee ok now?" i ought to record it on my handphone tomorrow if he asks again.. it's so lovely to hear him say that. he's just 3 yrs old! and a usually boisterous one too, its endearing how he returns from school each day, shouting and waving goodbye to the neighbour at the door and then abruptly stop as he turns around to see me in the living room, he immediately changes his tone and asks, almost carefully, in a soft concerned voice, about my knee:)

well, today he did something else.. when i answered that it's better now, but it's still swollen and painful - he said "i know, you need plaster, wait a while, i'll get plaster for you ok?" and he ran very quickly into the room to get plaster, with his socks still on..

and then he "stuck" the plaster on my knee (on the needle wound) with the sticky bit facing up.. (i laughed and turned it right side up) and ran off to play xbox..
my 3 yr old niece followed suit and stuck another plaster on my knee while i wasn't looking.. it's so sweet of them to put plasters on my swollen knee.. :)

singing phobia

i have overcome my singing phobia! Thank God :)

haven't been able to sing in the presence of others (including good friends) since young. when i had to sing with my class during music period at school, i sang so softly, it might have been just lip synch on my part.

i remember 2 traumatising singing incidents at school - once in primary sch and once in sec sch. on both occasions i had to sing solo while the rest of the class listened.. i was so traumatised i don't even know how it went.

when i start going to church last year, i wanted so much to worship God but didn't know how to sing worship songs and was terrified of singing in public.. Thank God for giving me courage to sign up for singing classes coz in singing class, we have to sing in front of classmates while being scrutinized by the teacher (for good reasons). I also bought worship cds to listen to and singalong.

just today, i went for my first mandarin singing comp audition!!
it was unbelievable.. (for me) that i really did it & my knees weren't wobbly!

i didn't manage to find nor download the accompany music for the songs i wanted to sing.. and felt so inadequate at performing the songs that i wanted to back out. the audition time for me was 2pm, i was still mulling over it till 2.35 when i decided to call the school to see if they'd still let me go.. while i was put on hold to check, i was still uncertain if i should go and thought if i was allowed to go despite the time, i'll go! and so i went.. Thank God for the keyboard (oops i forgot to turn off the power..) in the waiting room, playing with it took my mind off my nerves. my heartrate was highest at the moment just before entering the audition room, and my hands at their coldest as well.

but i did it!! another of my to-do's in a lifetime thingy
Yippee!

my father went to church today!

image source: breadonthewaters

hallelujah! God is wonderful and works in amazing ways.

my father went to church on his own today :D
he even went out for prayer for healing and he has decided to go again next week, and regularly, for healing!! thank God

thank God thank God
thank God for the pastors and brothers and sisters who ministered to him, blessed him and prayed for him

i can't thank God enough..

my father has just returned home from church and is now cooking porridge for us even though he has just eaten. this is a first!! praise God!!

Thank you God!!